I started writing this post while I was at work. That day, work consists of serving people who are a part of the Singer-Songwriter festival. Thus, I started writing while listening to sound check at the Key West amphitheater. While this may come off as bragging, I’m purely sharing because if I don’t, I under-appreciate my own life. I allow the special moments of my life to pass me by. Easily I get caught up in the not there yet mentality, and I’m not “there” yet, but let me tell you where I’ve landed is pretty spectacular. I’ve got a dope new place. Not perfect, but location and front porch cannot be beat. The friends I’ve found, or who found me down here, are unbelievable. There is something different about the people of Key West. We’ve all agreed there’s too much bad in the world to be mean to one another. Even the Conch’s are inviting. The first place I’ve ever moved to where no one has mentioned, “You’ll never be from here.” They just call you a Freshwater Conch instead. Something special down here. I’m telling you, but it ain’t for everyone. This is just my little push to find your place. Keep searching til there is somewhere that just feels easy.
Now….onto the real post I got for you this week.
When I move to new places, I set up expectations. I have an idea of how things will go in my head. I expect myself to have a job, a place to live, and be settled in within 2 weeks. Maybe a month tops, reality a month is way too long to be settled. I want to have the life people have spent 5, 10, 15 years creating somewhere. Why do I think this? I’m impatient? Otherwise no clue!
Thus, with major moves, I can easily set myself up for failure. This was the case with my last big move off the boat and onto land when I moved to NOLA in 2020. I seriously hit the ground running there. Partly because I had to make rent. Partly because I had no other idea how to do things. The push led to a complete break down within the first 2 weeks. I remember walking around NOLA handing out my resume to restaurants, and assuming everyone would want to hire me. Look at all my experience after all. When I didn’t get a job at the first place I went, heck the first 3 places I went, I was disappointed and scared to say the least. I worried I had made a major mistake with the move, and I would need to go back to boating.
Thankfully at the time, I had a roommate who was a little more realistic with such things. She came in, put a little realistic perspective on things, and calmed me down. She helped me see I was actually doing really well, and I’d find something. I always find something. It’s great to have those friends, who see the best in you when you can’t quiet see any of the good.
With my past moving history, I was determined not to fall into the same trap. I had saved more money for this move. I was going to take things slow. Not rush them too much. I had some goals and plans in place, but I was going to take the first 2 weeks to get settled, relax and unwind from the busy busy yachting life I had just left.
Instead, I mixed my old and my new friends together and drank a little too much those first two weeks. It was fun, but it was a little much for me. I’m not used to that lifestyle, and it’s not a lifestyle I want. I recognized the undesirable behavior, and I changed course. Slowly but surely things have been falling into place over the last 3 months of living here in Key West. While living here and feeling like a freshwater has multiple facets to it, a major one for me was to set up my health/self-care routine. Having a solid routine in those two areas for me is key to keep me happy and balanced.
Morning routine, I’ve never really lost. Why? Because my basic morning routine is simple. I wake up, before I look at my phone, I write down the dreams I can remember because I think dreams are cool. Then I do my daily gratitude (5 things I’m grateful for today). Then I’m sure to have a hot water with lemon before I have my coffee.
Sometimes there are other things thrown in. I would love to start walking in the AMs again consistently, like back in my NOLA days when I did my walk & talks. Or I read some non-fiction. Regardless, I like to start my mornings a little slow. It’s good for me because in reality I rarely let myself slow down the rest of the day.
Thus, the main focus has been my health…i.e. workout routine and diet plan. While I say diet, ladies and gents this is not about restriction. I literally over the past year haven’t been eating enough for how much I moved, and when I did eat it wasn’t my normal affair that I love and enjoy. While it was wonderful, yacht quality food that was always delicious. It was a lot of fatty meats and more butter/oil than I usually cook with. Nothing wrong with it. It was a season. This is a new one!
Thus 2 major goals for when I moved here:
1. Get back to the gym consistently with a personal trainer
2. Get my Macros back on track.
Again, with these type pf goals I’ve gone from zero to 100 real quick, and ultimately setting myself up for failure. Thus I knew it was one step at a time. This is the purpose of this weeks blog…to talk to you about how I have these two goals and how I’m taking MONTHS to reach them instead of trying to start it all at once.
Exercise Goal: Workout 3-4 times a week with 1-2 days of home yoga/stretching.
Getting back after it in the gym is easy for me. I love the gym. After 16ish years of working out on my own, ie no organized sports to play, I found my favorite fitness…lifting. Something about going in moving a bunch of heavy shit around that makes me highly satisfied as a human. Part of it is visibly seeing the increase in heavy shit I can move. Other part is being underestimated by big men at how much I can lift. I really enjoy being underestimated.
So, the steps I took to get to where I am at currently (consistently going 3 days a week).
February Goal: Find a trainer
I lift. I have been lifting for 8 years now. I’ve had good coaches. I’ve had mediocre coaches. I know the difference. I know the reality of how much damage you can do to your body in an instant from lifting the wrong why or going too heavy too soon. I wanted a coach to get me through this. I wanted a coach to make sure I had proper form and to make me accountable to someone. Do you know what I do before every workout? Warm up…why? Because my trainer is at the gym, I go to all the time, and if I don’t, she’ll know! Not really, but in my head she will and it's all about tricking yourself into doing things you want to be doing right?!? It at least works for me. Either way, I found a trainer. She’s great. Currently just going once a week with her on the weeks I remember to give her my schedule. Next step is a 6-week progressive plan.
Step 2 (March Goal): Get in the gym 3X a week
What did this look like? Literally going to the gym 3x a week. One day a week was with my trainer. So that was guaranteed. The other 2 days it didn’t matter if I did a full workout or spent some time in there stretching, doing a little lifting, and a few other things. As long as I went it counted. If I had let judgement in at this step it would’ve been rough, because consistent gym rat Laura would’ve laughed at some of my March workouts. But life is hard, and busy, and this is all about showing myself a little more grace to create the long-term habits I desire. Thus, I set the bar lower than my ego wanted it to be. It worked! I got in the gym 3x a week.
Step 3 (April Goal): 3X a week, Full Workout
All my workouts with my trainer are stored in an app. Thus, I would refer to those. I did full workouts 3X a week, minus the last week of April. The beginning of that week I was in Marco. Doing a little freelance trip. It was fun, but no working out occurred at the beginning. My grand plan was to come back to Key West and hit the gym the next 3 days. Thursday, I did well…I kept my appointment with my trainer. Buttttttttt Friday and Saturday things didn’t fall into place. Call it vacation mode still on high. Call it just enjoying life. I don’t know, but it didn’t happen. Instead, I spent time with my Bestie (hadn’t seen her in a week), hung out with family that was in town (hadn’t seen in 5 years), and worked. Oh well…grace, right? I did show myself grace…and getting started fresh the following week.
Step 4 (May Goal): 3X a week, STRETCHING!
Thus far in May I’ve been doing good. Last week and this week I’ve thought about going to the gym 4x in one week instead of 3 because I got my 3 days in early in the week. Instead, I’ve decided to stretch at home because Momma is getting sore these days from those heavy lifts. Stay tuned…but I got a good feeling about this. Already stretched one day this week.
So thus far Gym Goals…going well down here on the Rock. Now let’s look at some nutrition goals….
Nutrition: Follow my Macro dieting to a T.
Okay I’ll be honest, this part is going much slower. The goals the past two months hardly even seem as though they are getting me towards this major goals. But I think they are, or these goals are getting me towards a diet plan I can follow even if the original Macro dieting to a T never really comes through for me. Also let me add, I’m taking this slow because actually following your Macros to a T is hard. There is a lot of work that goes into it. You have to plan your meals, go to the store buy the food for those meals, and then actually cook all the meals. Weigh out the food and eat all the food! Seems silly, but developing a plan is different than putting said plan into action. Following Macros is an easy way to beat yourself up for “failure.” There is an easy way to measure if you’re passing or failing at your goals. Thus, it can be tough!
February Goal: Zip, Nada, None!
March Goal: Don’t let the food in the fridge go bad & 8 days of no drinking throughout the month
This seems like a super lame goal, right? I feel like it’s lame looking at it now, but truth is the food in the fridge was going back. I was cooking for myself as planned and things were going bad because I wasn’t A. Eating enough to sustain a human adult and B. Eating out more than I had planned. So the goal was simple. It worked. I only threw out 2 heads of cabbage over the past two months! I started buying bagged cabbage to solve this issue!
8 days of sobriety seems like child’s play, but I tell you here in Key West having a cocktail a day keeps the sobriety away. Everyone meets up it seems after work to have “just one.” Some have just one. Other have 8 “just one.” Either way you get the picture. This was not a lame goal especially during my birthday month! It was kind of tough, but I got it!
April: Eat 3 meals a day & 3 days no drinking a week
Again LAME! But if you have ever worked in hospitality, skipping meals is easy. You’re expected to not eat during the entire “lunch” or “dinner” times of the day. It is literally your job. By the time you get off work, sometimes your body has given up and you’re no longer “hungry” even though it’s been 8 hours since your last meal. Thus eating 3 actual meals a day. Is a realistic step towards eating enough to fuel my body and macro dieting.
3 days of sobriety…well that’s common sense. Alcohol messes with any diet goal anyone has. Plus, it helps me wake up 3X a week without any icky feelings in my tummy.
May Goal: Track all food on App & 3 days no drinking a week
Soooooo first part of this goal, I’m already failing at horribly. I’m thinking of changing it to only tracking my protein to know I’m eating enough protein in my day. Macro dieting really works well because you are taking in enough protein to support your exercising. I know currently I am not. Thus, starting that would be a good step forward. Or thinking about being consistent with tracking one full meal a day. Then next month going to 2?!? Not sure yet. This month wasn’t thought out as much. I know tracking all my food is tough. It’s an easy area where I can beat myself up because it’s an all or nothing type ordeal. That’s not what I want my life to be about. I want to enjoy it. Enjoy what I eat while I feed my body and am making healthy conscious decisions for it. So, I’ll keep you posted on how this goes!
As for my drinking record in May…the first week I didn’t drink 4 days! I left Sunday as a day to enjoy a hangover cocktail, and instead I was just hungover because I didn’t feel like drinking. This week, I’ve already had two days, and I know I won’t be drinking today. Why? Because I’ve told myself I won’t plus I really enjoy sober sleep and waking up refreshed the next morning. Even one alcoholic beverage can throw my sleep off these days. Call me sensitive…idk!
So there it is….the simple break down. Why am I spelling it all out for you? Because we all know the key to success is small actionable goals each day, week, or month to lead us to the life we want to lead. Yet sometimes, our small steps are still a little too big. I’m VERY guilty of making my small steps a decent size leap instead. Thus, I wanted to break down for you what small steps can look like. 5 years ago, drudging through grad school, these goals would’ve been hogwash. I was a pro at being way too fucking hard on myself. But I’m learning to take things a little slower. Legit looking for all the things I’m doing right versus the one thing I’m not accomplishing in life, and being my own hype person. I literally have been bragging to my bestie and therapist this week about the things I’m doing right. They love me. They are with me! They are hyping me up too! BTW get a bestie like mine here on the island, she is a ray of sunshine that sincerely thinks I’ll accomplish anything and everything I ever say I will. And I don’t want her to be wrong sooooo….I think I will!
SOOOOOOOO loves tell me…
What big daunting goal do you got boo? How you going the break it down? What plan are you going to put in place to accomplish it over the next 6 months, a year, 5-year?
Need help? Or hype to get started?
Let’s chat! I love daydreaming about goals and action steps!!!
Enjoy the rest of your May! Til next time loves!
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