Hi friends…
So, I’M SORRY ONCE AGAIN! I’ve been absent. I proclaimed 4 months ago life was going to slow down. I would have more time for my writing. I would make more time for my writing. I lied to you and myself. For that I apologize. I hate not keeping promises to people. I hate not keeping promises to myself most of all.
However, the promise was made without an understanding of what the next few months would look like. I was told to boat life was going to slow down. Be less hectic. I would have more me time. I made the promise to write more in good faith that I would have the time and creative capacity to do so. That wasn’t exactly the case.
Another hitch in this promise, came from something else I promised myself. When I made the decision to stay on the boat, I also made the decision to be fully present and really enjoy where I was in this season of my life. Since I’m the worst at being in an amazing life situation, like living on a 118 ft yacht with amazing crew, and not enjoying it. My patterning is saying I’ll enjoy my life when I’m in X location, doing Y job, with Z relationship. I’m tired of living life like that, when the reality is the life I create, rather it is forever life or temporary, is always spectacular. Thus, I promised myself I’d enjoy the exact season of my life I was in. Unfortunately, this season of my life was not in my control. Causing my promises to collide with one another.
Over the last 4 months, I’ve been really present in the life that’s physically before me. I’ve met new people. I went out more with coworkers. I drank more with coworkers. I’ve laughed more with my coworkers. I’ve grown friendships, I’ll dearly cherish forever. I put less pressure on myself to be doing all the things. More pressure on celebrating all the little things I was doing. I focused on living life happy now, not tomorrow. Guess what…IT WORKED! I enjoyed my life more over the past 4 months than I did the previous 8 before it. I count this as a win!
Other things that have occurred, I’ve gotten way more confident in my skills as a solo stew. I don’t think I’m perfect. I know I have room for improvement, but everything within this job position has been flowing much easier over the past 4 months. I’m confident in my skills. It feels good.
Thus, why wouldn’t I stay for another year…or two…or five?!?
If you know me personally or follow me on here. You know I change a lot. Typically, I find some rhythm. I find some flow in my life then I realize, wait a second this isn’t the life I exactly want. Thus, I shake things up.
This shake up I knew for a while. It started as a whisper. It went to a discomfort I couldn’t ignore. Full time yachting isn’t the life I want. I love so many aspects of it. I enjoy the moving. I enjoy waking up on a boat. I enjoy my “neighborhood” being whatever dock we’ve floated up to. It’s fun. It’s enjoyable. Yet it’s unstable.
Not unstable in the sense of job security, in the sense my body is craving some routine. My soul is craving me to be more grounded. This is the same space I found myself in the last time I left the boat life. I didn’t know what I wanted. I only knew I wanted something different. I wanted to have a “home” or maybe a home base is what I’m looking for. Somewhere to land. A space to be myself. Where my people are. Where my people can come visit me.
I’ve shared I’m not good at this “settling down” thing, because well it feels like settling to me. It feels like I’m being less than I was meant to be. Yet, my life continues in these cycles. I live by my nomadic ways. I enjoy my nomadic ways. Then, I get restless. I crave stability. I crave a “home.” I find the home, the stability. I get bored. I leave the stable environment I’ve created for my nomadic ways.
Maybe someday this will change. Maybe I’ll find somewhere that feels so much like my soul belongs there, I won’t feel restless. Maybe I’ll find somewhere to call home. The place I’ll always go to when life feels unstable, somewhere to ground me while I plan my next adventure. I have some ideas, dreams, visions of how I could see my life playing out. I look forward to them playing out. I look forward to sharing them all with you.
I look forward to changing up my life and grounding myself in a new place.
That’s correct, it’s time to leave the boat life behind...again. At least the full-time gig, the living, working, and sleeping on the boat always gig. This is a decision I’ve been contemplating for a while. It was a decision I made fully back in late November. I shared with my coworkers and the boat owner. My coworkers are supportive. The boat owner is VERY supportive. I will always call them friends, the friends that feel like family. They know that. I know that.
For now, I’m excited! I’m excited for my next move. I’m excited for a new place. I’m excited for a new job. I’m excited to get back to writing all about my new things! I’m so excited…I’m keeping y’all in suspense on the new location til next week!
I promise I will write and post about where’s next…next week. For now, I have one more week on the boat to finish up, to train my replacement, to enjoy my friends. To get all the details ironed out in my new life before I shout it from the roof tops!
So, for now…I want to say thank you. If you are still reading my blogs after my random hiatuses, thank you for listening. Thank you for following and thank you for just everything! It truly means the world to me!
Stay tuned for next weeks big news!
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