Situationships

The Guys…

Okay, so I’ve hinted at the fact that I’ve got my guys. For the first time in my life, I don’t have too many guys in different categories hanging around. Actually, for a very long time, I just had Texas lingering in the background of my mind. Now I have another that falls into the same category as Texas…I know fuck me right! Shake your head at me…I’m shaking my head at me!

From 15-31, life has not that simple. I always had multiple guys I was thinking about, hanging out with, or dating…let’s say I had multiple guys I was in some form of a “Situationship” with. I coined this term because I got tired of trying to decide WTF me and said guy was. So, I just called it like it was…situationship. Unless I was actually dating someone and then of course I called him my boyfriend because you know I’m not a weirdo. But ladies let’s all be real if you are in the dating world and not in a committed relationship but dating around you don’t know how to categorize these men in your life. Thus, it is somewhere between a situation and a relationship…bingo bango I give you the Situationship!

Also before you start judging the fuck out of me, when I say I usually have more than one situationship at hand, I don’t mean I have 2 boyfriends. I find myself a lot with a boyfriend and a category 5 below…but it’s not like I have a boyfriend and I’m fucking around on him with a category 2-4!

This will make more sense once I describe the different situationships I have…yes 1 is the boyfriend status. Easy to identify and label, but others are variations thereof. I’m labeling them here because I think this is relatable to women out there, and to bring these bloody men out of the shadows for me. I have to describe what they mean to me before I can mention them in further blogs.

Alright here goes defining the different Situationships. It may not be easy, but hopefully, you can understand! This must be discussed before other topics are discussed so here goes….1. The boyfriends:

a. Shelf Life: 3-18 months.

- Yes, my longest actual relationship has only been 18 months…come off it! I know I’m not good at commitment. It’s fucking scary okay! And I’m really good at putting up walls….like tall walls with barbwire at the top to keep them truly from getting in.

b. Emotional Investment: Standard…will never forget these men

c. I care deeply about them. I will always deeply care about them. I love them, but more a friendship kinda love. Sex good…hasn’t been spectacular yet. Mainly quantity type men, not quality. Sorry boys!

d. Friends know their name. Friends meet them. Friends love them. Friends always wonder what went wrong.

e. There is always something tragic about them that is stopping it from really working out.

- Distance

- Have a home not looking to wander with yours truly

-Want the nuclear family and wanted it yesterday. Kids terrify me now. Kids really terrified me at 22!

2. The Flings:

a. Shelf life: >1 month

b. Emotional Investment: Low…like real fucking low

c. Not much to say here. They serve their purpose. They are fun to fuck for a while until they aren’t. No love. No real feels. Just fun.

d. Sex ranging from pretty good to great! May talk about to friends about them…mainly because of reasons like…I’m fucking a 22-year-old and I’m fucking 30! What am I doing with myself?!? Or some detail about the sex…that’s really the only reason to bring them up. My friends know if I’m hooking up with someone for a month and they don’t hear about it till a month in…it’s nothing.

e. They usually get attached and things end. Or we just stop talking to one another.

3. The Fuckboys I fall for:

a. Shelf Life: 3 months to 2 years.

- Yes, I was caught up on a fuck boy for 2 fucking years! Don’t ask me what I was thinking. He flat out told me what we were whenever I brought it up. But damn it he was a good fuck. Like the best, I’ve ever had…and ladies that list ain’t too short! Again don’t fucking judge it isn’t too long either! I’m very comfortable with my sexcapades!

b. Emotional Investment: Too high! Shouldn’t exist and it does!

c. Ugh, these boys…I see them. I spot them a mile away, and I still fall for these fucks while I’m actively telling myself “No Laura…he is a fuckboy. Don’t walk run!” Doesn’t work!

d. Characteristics: Typically, they are mates on sportfishing boats or have been at some point in their life, they are sexy as fuck, many girls like them, playboys, a shit ton of fun! Aren’t into commitment….they are into fishing. Or maybe I just ain’t the type they commit to…no fucking clue!

- Sub-Characteristic: They are too fucking charming. When you get over them. You still don’t know why they had the hold on you they did!4. The Unclassified:

a. Shelf Life: Undetermined

b. Emotional Investment: Good Friendship Level

c. Men in my life that I highly respect. We always have some underlying sexual tension. Sometimes that is resolved. Sometimes it is not.

d. Not fuck boys. Not relationship material. Just friends I fuck…I guess is the best way to describe. Maybe we fuck once maybe a short fling. But either way, it happens. We know it’ll never work. We stay friends. Or we never fuck…but the sexual tension is always there! Either case we have long convos with each other. We are genuinely invested in each other’s lives. Strange….hard to classify. But if you know you know girlfriend!

5. The Soul Mates

a. Shelf Life: 1-5 years…yep that’s right

b. Emotional Investment: Love Story...RomCom level

c. I’ve had 3 of these men in my life. As soon as I get over one…it seems that another one pops up like hi! All of these men in my life have been long distance. Why we have never actually dated. They are emotional relationships. They have all tore my heart out at one point or another. I’ve cried too many nights over all of them. They are all perfectly charming. They are all very attractive. They all adore me. Two have broken my heart, the jury is still out on the third one.

d. I always have one of them just there. Somewhere in the back of my mind. One text or call away. They outlast multiple men in all other categories. They just fit in my life effortlessly. Yes, these men are typically around when I have the boyfriend, I thought would allow me to forget them. Hasn’t worked yet. The boyfriend leaves not because of said “soul mate” at the time, and I still have the “soul mate” to consul my wounds.

e. I love these men. I loved these men fast. Friends typically don’t know how deeply I feel for these men. I hide my true deep feelings about them from most. Why? Because if I talk about them too much then they may vanish. If I talk about them too much someone may point out their flaws. They won’t be perfect anymore to me. They will fall into another category, or maybe I’ll make a new one.

f. I have never seriously dated any of these men. I have never let go of any of these men. Lost contact on their end, but I have not let them go.

So there it is ladies! Maybe there will be amendments made to this classification. But for now, those are the categories. Currently, as I have said before, I am working on me. Yes, Texas is in my life, and recently another #5 popped his little head back in as well. Honestly, I’m not talking to either one regularly. They will both text from time to time, ask me to come visit from time to time. That’s all we got, and that’s all the energy I have for them. Five years ago taking myself out of the dating pool would’ve been a hard decision. At this point in my life, it was the only decision. I was so exhausted from putting my energy into men who didn’t deserve to have it. I know you can say “Well it’s easy, you have 2 guys giving you attention.” But lovely lady out there…that is not the case. Yes, they are there, but they are more like friends than actually showing me romantic interest. They are giving me just enough attention to keep me off the market. They are basically a constant reminder as to why I don’t want to date right now. I still got my shit to work through….and love working I am! That’s it for now! Hope you enjoyed this week little bit of a lighter topic! Mwah!